dark days have come again....
what is worse? to be alone or to die? sometimes i wish a had died finally....
last weekend my friend have found me near toilet it my favourite Rock club at about 3 at a morning....
i had almost cut my wrist trought.... he had found me in a splash of my own blood.... my dagger was lying at my feet....
i have many friends.... and "friends" which are really like my brothers and sisters....
when im "down" they are with me. they always cheer me up. but now.... i doubt they can help me.
i feel depressed like never before....
im still looking for a sence for life.... but i just cant find it....
i wish my english was better. i´ve studied english for 9 years and i also been in UK for a while. but since i´ve ended school.... i´ve forgot most of what i´ve known....
next week my wage will come. finally i will buy Steel boots to myself
i will sprinkle it with my own hot "seed" ehm
and then i´ll get overdrunk as a pig....
what a vission
and maybe.... my friend will find me dead on a toilet finally !!!!
i have it enough....
aaand.... 1 problem at least....
we have absolutly beautiful nature around my town (Presov, eastern Slovakia, Middle Europe)....
buuuuut everywhere are wires, chimneys, buildings, factories.... and some other bullshits.
so i cant make a photo of some pure nature....
im a bit angry for this....
whyy must it came to this.... why cant we live in green and red (autumn finally)
environment?
this autumn will be something great....
but to be alone at autumn is the worst thing....
i have nobody to kiss, to embrace.... to tell her that i love her. to look in her eyes, to smooth her hair....
to kiss her on a square in our town. and wind would be blowing.... and our hair would knot together.... that is what i wish for....
a few NW songs colud describe it....
If only my heart had a home....
Why is it the deadliest sin to love.... as i loved you?
and so on....
And life goes on....
Optimism
Sadness
Tired
